We went to hunt a dragon. I thought Stephanie would relish the opportunity, but sadly she wasn't able to strike, my team wounded it and I shot it in the face with frost 'cause, y'know, dragon. Ice always kills dragons. That's what pokémon taught me. Then the dragon melted and filled my head with more light and noises.
I think this is going to keep happening.
Some guy kept calling me the dragonborn and asking me to shout. I obliged. I said FUS and everyone starting freaking the hell out.
GOD this is baffling!
I went back to see President Sven and he made a big fuss about it and gave me an axe or something. I don't want to anger Stephanie, so that'll be going in the vendor trash pile along with all those books and pots and things. He then gave me a woman, Ulrika. Or Lydia. Whatever. What he doesn't realise is the Dragonbjorn is a lone wolf, an untamed stallion, the kind of man who doesn't let himself get tied down to any one woman. He's free, like the wind. Ulrika baby, I'm sorry, you're going to have to stay here with the president. I'm already married, you see.
I found a new friend. He was very excited about a god or something. I listened politely for a while, but he clearly wasn't going to stop any time soon and I wasn't allowed to kill him either, so I walked away. I think he's still talking. He posed for a photo, though, so I think we're BFFs now.
I gave some money to a drunk man. He told me to steal some things, but Dragonbjorn doesn't take orders from drunkards because drunkards do not give you exp. I then went to a few houses and got shouted at by all kinds of people, because the people in Whiterun are generally insufferable pricks.
A lady in a house talked to me about me being her only hope, so I figured this was some kind of Princess Leia scenario. Best case, I would bring balance to the force, worst case I might get laid or something. So there's a profit. Turned out she wanted to kill me, then wanted me to kill someone else, then... well, I think the poor thing was confused so I left her to it.
I went to talk to the president for a while. It turns out that these conversations are far more interesting if you stand on the face of the person who's talking to you. They look so bewildered.
Now he was distracted, it was time to see what he wore under his...
Okay, he has no legs. Well, it's not as if that's the worst thing I've seen today. The game did win points for immediately having his lackey say "Hey, keep your hands to yourself".
So me and Stephanie went outside to wait for the shops to open. Apparently we're in freaking Midgar or something.
I stepped outside of Whiterun, ready for adventure. Suddenly, a stirring in my hand. A hunger grew in Stephanie, a bloodlust which needed to be sated. I was powerless to stop her.
STEPHANIE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
We walked up a mountain. Turns out the Skyrim's quite pretty when it isn't trying to kill you. Then we pulled the wings off some butterflies, but we didn't kill the butterflies. They can go back to being caterpillars, I guess.
At this point, we decided to go find the man that was trying to kill Ulrika back in the bar. Plus, it sounded like he was in a dungeon and it'd been at least 2 play sessions since we'd been dungeon delving. I was getting tired of all these politics, so we went into a cave and killed basically everyone in it. It was satisfying!
I met this guy. I guess you could say he was... dying for a drink.
Then a nice man told me that Ulrika had been lying to me and that she was wanted by nobles and blah blah political unrest blah blah pay you for her capture blah blah lies and half truths.
I stabbed this plot point over and over and over and dear GOD it felt good to shut this game up and just solve a problem by killing things.
Thought for the day
I'm finding the lockpick mechanic more engaging than pretty much everything else in the game. I hope the elder scrolls 6 is just a series of increasingly complex locks 'cause I'd buy that in a New York minute.